remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need moral support for this bender
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
