We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
