is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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