We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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