Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize