my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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