Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
