my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
