I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
