I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
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like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
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We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work