So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana