my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.