Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?