He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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