This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize