Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
