Plan B is the new Plan A
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
