There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
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He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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