apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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