my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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