i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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