oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
