I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
