is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
