Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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