omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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