Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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