So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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