So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
