these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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