She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
