All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
