Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
