I love black thongs
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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