do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
