She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
