She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
