I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
