she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
