if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
