I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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