Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
