Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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