pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize