Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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