just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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