i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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