He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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