You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
