can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
