she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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