White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
this just has baby written all over it
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize