Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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