he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
