He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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