Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
