i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
