guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm like, not good at living.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
