Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
