That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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