Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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