If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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