I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
